The steps to take when planning a funeral

Planning a funeral is a challenging time. It can be hard to think of everything that you'll need to give a loved one a fitting tribute, especially if you are shouldering most of the burden yourself. 

It’s important to remember that while it is an emotional time, you are not alone in planning a funeral. Having experienced the loss of three loved ones within 18 months, I can appreciate the challenges you may be going through and the emotions that come with them. While everyone’s situation is different, these are some key considerations when planning a funeral.

Begin planning early

Talking about death and funerals is something that many of us struggle with. There could be a number of reasons, from not feeling comfortable with the topics to not wanting to accept that a loved one is nearing the end of their life. However, discussing funeral arrangements at the soonest possible opportunity ensures that the person’s final wishes are best met.

It’s not uncommon for these discussions to be especially difficult for those with specific health conditions. In these cases, it may help to have other family members and friends present, or consult the expertise of a funeral director or celebrant to help guide the conversation with the person before they pass away. This allows everyone involved to make decisions before being affected by grief, which can make planning a funeral all the more challenging. 

Another important aspect of planning a funeral is to consider whether there is a need for someone to have power of attorney. This allows a loved one to have the means to make decisions regarding various legal issues, such as finances, and in the case of planning a funeral, act as a spokesperson in liaising with the registry office and with funeral directors.

Each year, the Dying Matters Awareness Week campaign run by Hospice UK aims to support people to have these conversations. For 2025, the initiative looked at ways to discuss death within certain cultures and again, recognising the need to have them early.

The types of funeral a loved one could have

There are a number of options available when it comes to funerals in the UK. Most of us will either choose a burial or a cremation, however there are other ceremonies to consider. Just as it is important to begin planning as early as possible, choosing which is the right one should be one of those first decisions. 

A burial may be ideal for a traditional ceremony that allows several people to pay their respects at the same time. The ceremony is overseen by a civil celebrant or a religious leader, depending on the beliefs and wishes of the person who has passed. A civil celebrant is able to provide a personalised service for non-religious funerals, whereas traditional religious ceremonies will need to be conducted by an ordained individual, such as a priest.

Cremations follow a similar format to a burial. Loved ones who decide on a cremation often have a second, perhaps more private, ash scattering ceremony at a location that was special to that person, or decide to keep the ashes in their memory. 

Nowadays, the options for a funeral include natural burials, where the coffin is made from biodegradable materials and no embalming takes place to minimise environmental impacts, and direct cremations, where the person is cremated without a ceremony and the ashes are returned to a family to scatter themselves when the time is right, following the wishes of their loved one. This second option also allows families to have greater flexibility when it comes to marking the passing of their loved one, without the complexities that can arise from planning a traditional ceremony. 

Decide where to have the funeral

This will ultimately depend on the type of funeral, however it is worth deciding whether it will be held at the local cemetery or crematorium, or, in the case of an ash scattering, at a specific, poignant location. It is also possible to have a memorial or remembrance ceremony at home, which can happen in the case of having a direct cremation.

The location of the funeral will also ascertain whether it will be conducted by a civil celebrant or a religious leader. Ceremonies conducted by the former are non-religious in nature, but may include some religious aspects such as a reading, however they cannot conduct a funeral within a church or other religious building. 

Once this decision has been made, loved ones can then start arranging for other relatives and friends to attend and some of the specific elements that are explained in the next section.

Think about what to include in the ceremony

Each funeral is unique. It should always be about celebrating the person’s life in the way that respects their wishes and what they achieved throughout their lifetime. That could be shown through music, poetry readings, or reminiscing about special moments using a slideshow of photos. 

Working with a funeral director may open up other ideas - for example, the coffin could be delivered in a horse-drawn carriage as opposed to a hearse. And using a celebrant to oversee the ceremony allows for greater input over what is included in eulogies and speeches. Depending on the location and type of ceremony, other elements to include could be flowers and whether attendees should be dressed in a certain way, rather than formal black suits. 

Taking time to sit with a loved one approaching the end of their life and brainstorming ideas about what they would like to be included ensures that nothing is inadvertently missed. It may also help make the general discussion around planning a funeral slightly easier.

Funeral ceremonies across Worcestershire

If you are planning a funeral for a loved one in Worcestershire, I am here to help you through the entire planning process. From writing a eulogy to helping you decide what to include in a ceremony, I can be with you every step of the way during this difficult time.

Email me for a free, no-obligation discussion about yours and your loved one’s needs.